Star Wars fans across the world are in a moral crisis after producer George Lucas was quoted in an interview with the LA Times as saying the Star Trek fans are, “A little much.”  Lucas went on to say that, “Every time I see some virgin in a storm trooper outfit I want to go back in time and kill my mother so I never would have made those damn movies.”  Star Wars fans are confused and don’t know how to react.  Scott Trooper, President of the California Star Wars Fan Club said, “I don’t know what to make of this, on one hand, he is the creator of the greatest pieces of art since the Mona Lisa and Michelangelo’s David, and on the other hand he has completely betrayed his core fan base that has made him hundreds of millions of dollars.”

            Mr. Trooper in protest has thrown away his DVD Copies of episodes 1-3 in protest, but plans on keeping the original three videos and his extensive toy collection.  Mr. Trooper plans to organize a protest outside of Lucas’ Marin County mansion.  Geeks of all ages will be demanding an apology from the Star Wars creator, or face the wrath of the sexually frustrated.  

            It is unknown whether or not Lucas is expected to apologize.  One analyst estimates that his response will be something along the lines of, ‘OMFG you guys are not 1337.  Go home, get laid, and stop jerking it to that scene where Princess Laya is in a bikini from Return of the Jedi.  Jabba the Hut is behind her, that’s gross.  But I am a B-B-B-B Billionaire, so I don’t give a s#!t what you @$$clowns think.  Kiss my jello roll @$$ and lick the hair the grows around it.’ 

            It is suspected that the suspect, 23 year old Samantha Cole, was planning on settling out of court for an undisclosed sum but reportedly didn’t properly research which celebrity to accuse well enough. “She saw that slut that Kobe Bryant nailed and thought it was a sure way to get easy money.” Claimed Hollywood lawyer Rick Stern.  Unfortunately for Mrs. Cole, her distortion was easily discovered since she had never left her native California, and Professor Hawking hasn’t been to California since Mrs. Was three years old.  

            Mrs. Cole is expected to receive a short jail sentence to be followed by community service and parole.  Warden James Harden of San Fernando correctional facility, where Mrs. Cole will likely spend her short time in prison for worries that her diminished credibility could affect her in future situations.  “Clearly this young girl made a terrible mistake, but when Kobe Bryant actually rapes her, no one will believe her!”